The Tim Davis Network

The Tim Davis Network Presents...

The Comedy Dictionary!
(It's a work in progress so check back for regular updates)

Achilles' Heel (noun) – In comedy, the Achilles’ heel is the deep seeded fear of failure that we all have. Outwardly, comedians are high on self confidence, ego and courage; however, if you tell them they are not funny, that comment cuts deeply. The fear of failure is heightened for comedians because they walk on stage emotionally naked with humor as their only protection against rejection. This fear of failure can be so disabling that it cause us to medicate -- medicate and paralyze ourselves with doubt, depression and hopelessness. The only solution for a comic is to keep trying to make people laugh. If we stop, that is the ultimate failure. When a comedian quits the business, he or she is treated as a diseased organ by other comedians – having something that no one wants to catch.

Act – (noun) An act is an all inclusive way to describe a comedian’s jokes, material, voices, impressions, physical humor and attitude used in a performance. Stealing another comedian’s act is justification for the victim to give a live kidney transplant with a nail clipper to the perpetrator.

Ad lib – (noun) A comedian’s unrehearsed, funny retort to an unexpected comment or situation. This is done without thinking or worrying about what is said or its consequences. This is a talent that can be learned, but is treasured. God loves ad libs so much, that He/She gives comedians indulgences toward heaven.

Adulation – (noun) When Freddie Prinze was on the hospital gurney dying from a self inflicted gun shot wound, a nurse urged him not to die, because the world needed to laugh. Comedians hold a special place in the pecking order of humanity, because they make people laugh and forget their troubles, so they can continue the journey. Comics deserve the adulation they receive, because of the cost of the comedy life on themselves and their families.

Age – (noun) Age is not as important in comedy as in acting. Comedians never retire. They are addicted, like a junkie, to the laughter. Like the Mafia, for many comedians the only way out is a bullet to the back of the head.

Agent – (noun) Someone who helps a comedian secure bookings in exchange for a 10% fee. Agents are diversified. There are comedy club, commercial, movie, TV, and radio agents, to name a few. The difference between a manager and an agent is that a manager guides a comedian’s career and an agent arranges for auditions and paid gigs.

On Air – (verb) "On Air” means that the microphone is live, and what is said is being broadcast. Volumes of examples exist of performers, politicians, corporate execs, and other folks putting their foot in their mouths when they did not realize a microphone was live. One famous example is when President Ronald Reagan was doing a volume level test for a radio broadcast. Believing that the broadcast had not started he proclaimed to the Soviets, “The bombers are on their way.” Make sure the on air sign is not on when speaking off the cuff.

Alcohol – (noun) Alcohol is what comedians often turn to when their careers are slumping, and the laughs are not enough for their egos. Alcohol is also what makes many people believe they are comedians.

Alternative Comedy – (noun) This form of comedy began in Los Angeles and spread to the lower East Side of Manhattan. It differs from traditional stand up comedy in that the humor is generated from an off beat character rather than relying on punch lines. It is very in to see an alternative comedy show.

Anger – (noun) Anger is a powerful emotion that is often the unconscious motivation to become a comedian. It is also the number one emotion that comics use to create their comedy. Remarkably, many performers avoid psychotherapy for fear that it will diffuse their anger and drain their creativity. I disagree with this school of thought.

Ambition – (noun) Ambition is the motivating force for a comedian to succeed, which is healthy until it morphs into blind ambition. We all have ambition, but those with blind ambition will step on anyone to make it and often become hated by their peers.

Applause – (noun) Measuring the applause is a way for comedians and comedy club owners to keep score.

Art – (noun) Art is something that produces an emotion in the beholder. For an artist like a comedian to produce emotion in the audience, they must produce the emotion in themselves first. Emotion triggers emotion.

Attire – (noun) People go to comedy clubs because they want the experience to be light and fun. That is why Steve Martin wore a white suit. His act was meant to be silly. Richard Lewis wears black, because his act is that of a tortured soul. While Richard Lewis is obviously very talented, in my opinion, going to a comedy club and seeing a tortured act is like going on vacation to Florida and all it does is rain.

Audition – (noun) Auditions are the job interview equivalent in the world of performance. The level of audition varies from open mic to The Tonight Show, to sitcoms and even movies. The key to auditioning is to not be overwhelmed by anxiety, which would be every comic’s third wish from the genie in the magic lamp. Anxiety levels will decrease when you avoid attaching too much importance to the audition. Also, remember that agents see a comedian once and forever after hold that first impression. They are busy people, and once they have seen you, they have seen you. Peter Rosegarten of The Conversation Company, a comedy management powerhouse, recommends that you never be seen until you are ready.

EXCITEMENT -- (noun) Are you excited about your new joke? First, it must make you laugh before you can sell it to an audience. Has anyone ever run a joke by you that you did not find funny, but then saw that person try it in front of an audience and it killed? You must be excited about your joke while you share it with others.

EMOTION -- (noun) Emotion triggers emotion and can be measured on levels of 1 to 5 and 6 to 10. A 6 to 10 level of emotion will evoke the same from the audience. Perform at 1 to 5 and you'll get a 1 to 5 reaction.. Laughter is the release of pent up emotion; it is a visceral feeling of identification on the part of the listener. Anger, depression, anxiety, frustration are effective emotions to use behind your comedy.

EXAGGERATION -- (noun) When we laugh with Felix Unger (The Odd Couple) it is not because he cleans, but his compulsion to clean. Commit yourself to the joke's idea and go over the top.

HACK -- (adj) Comedy Material that has been done many times. (noun) A comedian who does old or unoriginal material. To label a comedian as "hack" is a great insult. It means he/she either steals jokes or is unable to write his/her own funny ideas (bits). The performer wants to rely on proven material (that originated from someone else) and is too afraid to be innovative. In the comedy centers of New York and Los Angeles , a comedian who steals jokes is like a pariah, and some comedy clubs will refuse to book you. To be a hack is an unforgivable and unpardonable sin against the spirit of Will Rogers. Write down 10 jokes a day. After a while, it will seem as if Fred Allen and SJ Perleman are your collaborators.

HECKLE-- (verb) When a audience member shouts to a comic on stage and interrupts the act. Milton Berle said, "When someone heckles me, the first time it annoys me. The second time it annoys the audience." Let the heckler begin to irritate the audience before you go in for the kill. Here are some strategies when dealing with a heckler:

1. Ignore the remark. It might stop.

2. Decide whether to do a "slam" (put down the person by responding with an insult) or a "go with." A "slam" becomes counter productive if it makes the rest of the audience fear you. A "go with" is when you agree with the heckler as illustrated by your witty response. An example of a "go with" might be (Heckler), "Hey, you're ugly!" (Comedian) "If you think I'm ugly, you should see my mother!" "Go withs" show the audience that you can take a joke. Comedians are famous for not being able to take a joke about themselves. Don't be one of those.

Note: If you pose a question to the audience, be prepared to get an answer! If you ask a sarcastic question, you will get a sarcastic answer, then if you respond with a slam, it makes you look like the jerk.

Another thing about hecklers -- many hecklers are wanna-be comedians who do not have the courage to go on stage. During the show their desire to be on stage overtakes them, and they heckle to draw attention to themselves.

'A' level comedians use hecklers to their advantage by engaging the person in dialogue, which demonstrates the comedians' ability to riff (be funny in the moment at any time). 'B' and 'C' level comedians feel attacked, and the audience senses their panic, which is a death warrant to the performer.

Remember, an audience that is heckling you is at least having a reaction to your act. To me, this is much better than a quiet audience with no reaction. I hate silence.

** Examples of hack heckles are "Don't quit your day job" or "I'll laugh when you say something funny." See, even hecklers get lazy and don't write their own material.

HEADLINER -- (noun) The star of the show. The person everyone pays to see. The performer who has reached the heavens. Most comedy shows consist of an emcee (hopes to get laughs, beginner or 'C' level), the feature (can get some laughs -- 'B' level), and the closer or headliner. Headliners get laughs 98% of the time, which makes them an 'A' level performer. Comedy club owners, agents, managers, producers and other comedians judge a comic based on how long it took them to become a headliner. To become a headliner I recommend that you perform every night to any audience, keep developing your act and have an unbreakable spirit to succeed.

MICROPHONE -- (noun) The proper use of sound equipment is essential for stand-up comedy. 'B' and 'C' level comics hold the microphone too low, speak too loudly or too softly to be heard. Audiences get very upset when they cannot hear or the volume hurts their eardrums because the comedian is screaming into the mic. Yelling into the microphone shows that the performer is nervous and lacks confidence, which is the sound of a dying helpless animal in Comedy.

Microphones are not omni directional -- speak directly into them. Watch a cabaret singer, they are the pros of show business when it comes to filling a room with melodic sound.

A performer should know his/her voice range. If you are a bass or treble, learn to adjust the levels to suit your voice. Recently, I attended an important Comedy contest. Of the comedians who had funny jokes only one had the confidence not to scream into the microphone, which was causing visible audience discomfort. Guess who won the $1000 first prize!

Many comedians yell because the people are talking (and not listening), and they believe they need to "out shout" the crowd to win their attention. Pro comics do the direct opposite. They speak softly and make the audience come to them.

There is not a quicker way to lose an audience's attention than the amateur use of a microphone.

MUMBLING -- (verb) The first comedy coaching you probably received was from your mother when she told you to enunciate and to speak clearly. Many jokes and comedy bits are ruined when the performer swallows his/her words. Inflections and tone quality are important to making the punch line understood. Again, mumbling tells the audience that you are nervous. People do not laugh with a sweating comic -- they laugh at them.

MONEY -- (noun) Comedians get paid for a set. Generally, the lowest is the emcee, followed by the featured act with the highest being the headliner. The range is $5 for gas to a 'C' level comic to 80% of the door at $50 @ ticket for 4,000 seats to Jerry Seinfeld. This is an estimate, Jerry has not called me lately.

Road comics will travel the country working various clubs for up to 40 weeks a year (depending on their status). After the initial excitement of the bohemian life, it can become tedious and wreck havoc on personal relationships. Why do they do it? Dreams, fantasies and the fervent horror of working a day job and being under someone's control. Comics can be control freaks.

In the beginning, comedians perform for free in order to develop an act. Comedy club owners were the originators of the saying

"It was a business decision." I will leave it to you to use mathematical progression thinking to figure out the rest.

MOOD -- (noun) When a comic walks on stage, they must sense the mood of the audience. Does the crowd want to be entertained or be a part of the show? If the crowd wants to interact, but the performer screams at them to shut up, it makes for a squishy situation. (I've witnessed this MANY times). Friday night late show audiences, who are considered the belly of the beast, have driven many of comedians back to their accounting careers.

MANAGEMENT -- (noun) An organization or person that guides the career of a comedian. Management fees run from 11% for reputable firms to 25% and as much as 50% for the charlatans. An agent is different from a manager. The agent gets the comic bookings for a 10% fee. Agents and managers handle multiple clients. In defense of managers, many comedians need more attention and emotional support than a wounded puppy. I had a manager tell me a story about securing a TV pilot audition for a comic client, and the comic showing up to the audition with a shaved head saying he wanted to change his look to avoid type casting! Managers can make a sizable income, but oy...

MAGIC TIME -- (noun) Jack Lemon, the great Academy Award winning actor, used to say just before the cameras rolled, "It's Magic Time." For the performer, Magic Time is a State of Grace. The comedian locks into the vibe of the audience and can see the comedy lines coming at them. The comedian takes the audience on a ride through infinity and all its permutations. When this occurs on stage, the comic has the writing ability of Mark Twain, the oratory skills of Martin Luther King, Jr., the stage presence of John F. Kennedy and the confidence of Christopher Columbus. Magic Time is a validation of your comedy life.

ROAST – (noun, verb) When a group of comedians gather to honor a special person by insulting and joking about that person's character, personality, physical being, or overall life. In the stand-up comedy world, a roast signifies that you have been accepted. When comedians are nice to you (and won’t joke with you), it is because they consider you an outsider and not able to take it. You are not a member of their exclusive club. Dean Martin's Celebrity Roast and The Friar's Club Roasts are prime examples of the camaraderie around roasts. One’s ability to take a joke about his/herself is a measure of his/her emotional maturity and self confidence.

Exercise: Gather a group of friends together and each week designate one person as the roastee. This is an especially helpful exercise for those who need to desensitize easily hurt feelings. An added bonus, typically people become closer friends after roasting one another!

RETORT – (noun) A retort is a comedian’s quick, sharp and witty remark in response to a heckler. Some audience members love this and others react negatively. Some people have been known to run out of a comedy club crying. Comedians also have been physically attack. It is difficult to know who can take a joke.

Comedy Tip: If there are many empty beer bottles or glasses on the table, this is a sign that the people at the table are inebriated. Amateurs make the mistake of talking to these groups. Why wake up the drunks? Leave them alone. They are sloppy and too hard to quiet down.

REVIEW - (noun) When a comedian walks off stage, he/she never has to ask how they did. If it was great, people will slap you on the back and want to talk to you. If a comic bombs, no one will come near you. Other comedians will avoid you, ignore you and run away so as not to “catch it.”

For older comedians, the best review you could get was when Johnny Carson called you over to sit on the coach after your performance on The Tonight Show. That signaled his acceptance of your act; you were officially sanctioned and would have a career. We miss you Johnny. You were a comedian's best friend.

REWARD/RETIRE - (noun) We have all experienced the joy of making people laugh. Every comedian's aim is to make a living, but their purpose is to make the world howl at their jokes. Comedians don’t retire, they are carried off stage. Red Skelton, Lucille Ball, Moms Mabley, Henny Youngman, George Burns and many other performed until the day they died. When Dick Shaun collapse on stage of a heart attack the audience laughed, thinking it was a joke . He died hearing people laugh. That is dying a Viking's Death.

ROUTINE - (noun) This is when a comic strings together a series of jokes on one subject. An act will have a number of them. Comedians will keep doing the same routines for years.

Some famous routines are Abbott and Costello's Who’s on First?, Lenny Bruce's The Palladium Bit, George Carlin's The Indian Drill Sergeant, Flip Wilson's Columbus Day, Buddy Hackett's The Chinese Waiter, Bob Newhart's Abraham Lincoln's Press Agent, and Tim Davis' Meryl Streep bit (I had to add that one). Some enterprising person should compile these routines into a CD.

RESPECT - (noun) The greatest form of respect that can be paid to a comedian is when other comics run into the room to hear his/her routine and laugh and hate that they did not think of the jokes first. These people are known as the Comedian's Comedian. Some members of this select group are as follows: Gilbert Gottfried (back in the 1970s), Dave Attell, Richard Pryor, Robin Williams and Tootie Fields.

RHYTHM - (noun) When a comedian and the audience are in sync, it’s like cheek to cheek dancing. Not only is every joke working, but even the set-ups are making everyone scream. One night, Keith Robinson was on stage at a comedy club I was running, and he was cooking. When I signaled him to get off, he shook his head and mouthed, “Not tonight.” I understood. When you are in that zone, you never want to get off.

ROAD COMIC - (noun) Any comedian who cannot act is doomed to work the road for the rest of their lives. Performing in ‘B’ rooms and sleeping in the comedian's apartment (comedy condo), which are not exactly 5-star resorts. Performing on the “road” is where young comedians get their comedy chops and develop stage seasoning. It is typically after about 5 years of doing the road and not “making it,” the comedians will start to become bitter. They are caught between not wanting to work a day job and seeing comics who they started with become stars. God bless these Road Warriors, because they bring laughter to people who live in small populated areas and are in real need of entertainment.

RIFFING – (verb) How to be the best that you can be when you need to be it. Not an hour before or a day later, but at that precise moment. Riffing is the avenue by which to access your talent at will. This is a process by which a comedian creates new comedy in front of a live audience. Improv is the dialogue between two or more people, but riffing is when you allow your brain to speak. Your subconscious holds all your experiences and knowledge, and riffing is the only way to unleash it. It is the ability to see choices and make decisions instantly.

When someone recites a speech from a piece of paper (or even WORSE tells jokes from a piece of paper), it is because they are afraid of forgetting something. This is boring and uninspired and they should be made to translate French poetry into Mandarin Chinese. If you are going to give a memorized speech, why do I need to be there? Just send it to me in an e-mail! Jonathan Winters, Will Rogers, Bill Cosby, Groucho Marx and Joan Rivers are great riffers.

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